It was a unique moment in my life when this incident happened. Though it lasted only few seconds, it left such an indelible mark in my mind. I kept thinking about it over and again for a long time, before I decided to probe deeply into this incident. One day, early in the morning, I went to the bath room and looked at the mirror, and I realized that I was looking at a man. Though it was only my image on the mirror I was looking, that experience was unique and strange; and in reality, ‘I was witnessing a man’ in the mirror. It was an unnatural phenomenon. I could feel the Goosebumps all over my body. Somehow I got over that experience very quickly, but the impact is still lingering in my mind, even after several years. It was completely an ‘out of body experience’.
But when I started searching for an explanation for the incident, I happened to read a book on Maharishi Ramana, an Indian ascetic. His true story was very fascinating and inspiring. In a way, his teachings on spirituality, the purpose of our life on earth, eventually culminating in death, was very lucid and uncanny. He explained an incident in his own words, that happened in his childhood, as follows:
“It was about six weeks before I left Madura [Maharishi’s home town] for good that the great change in my life took place. It was quite sudden. I was sitting alone in a room on the first floor of my uncle's house. I seldom had any sickness, and on that day there was nothing wrong with my health, but a sudden violent fear of death overtook me. There was nothing in my state of health to account for it, and I did not try to account for it or find out whether there was any reason for the fear. I just felt "I am going to die" and began thinking what to do about it. It did not occur to me to consult a doctor or my elders or friends; I felt that I had to solve the problem myself, there and then.
The shock of the fear of death drove my mind inwards and I said to myself mentally, without actually framing the words: "Now death has come; what does it mean? What is it that is dying? This body dies." And at once I dramatized the occurrence of death. I lay with my limbs stretched out stiff as though rigor mortis had set in and imitated a corpse so as to give greater reality to the enquiry. I held my breath and kept my lips tightly closed so that no sound could escape, so that neither the word "I" nor any other word could be uttered. "Well then," I said to me, "this body is dead. It will be carried stiff to the burning ground and there burnt and reduced to ashes. But with the death of this body am I dead? Is the body I? It is silent and inert but I feel the full force of my personality and even the voice of the 'I' within me, apart from it. So I am Spirit transcending the body. The body dies but the Spirit that transcends it cannot be touched by death. That means I am deathless Spirit." All this was not dull thought; it flashed through me vividly as living truth which I perceived directly, almost without thought-process. "I" was something very real, the only real thing about my present state, and all the conscious activity connected with my body was centered on that "I". From that moment onwards the "I" or Self focused attention on itself by a powerful fascination. Fear of death had vanished once and for all. Absorption in the Self continued unbroken from that time on. Other thoughts might come and go like the various notes of music, but the "I" continued like the fundamental sruti note that underlies and blends with all the other notes. Whether the body was engaged in talking, reading, or anything else, I was still centered on "I". Previous to that crisis I had no clear perception of my Self and was not consciously attracted to it. I felt no perceptible or direct interest in it, much less any inclination to dwell permanently in it.”
His death experience and his explanation of death were absolutely crystal clear to me. His explanation was able to unravel the mystery of my own ‘mirror experience’. It is true that I was able to witness my own body, even though ‘that witnessing lasted only few seconds’. That explained ‘I am not the body, but a spirit that resides in this body’. I got over the fear of death. I remember Jesus saying, “Know thyself ”. My mirror experience changed my life forever.
